Building Resilience (article 1 of 2) - Transformation Weight Control

by Richard Weil, M.ED., CDE
Founder and Director
Transformation Weight Control
www.transformationweightcontrol.com

Dr. Albert Ellis, founder of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, always said that “human beings are fallible”. We all go off the rails at some point. Losing weight and successfully preventing regain doesn’t happen unless you can bounce back from adversity. Imagine going off the rails over the weekend and back on plan on Monday, instead of Monday turning into a week, a week into months, months into years of weight regain.

Join us. We’ll show you how to get back on Monday.

Characteristics of Resilient People:

Resilient people experience the same difficulties and stressors as everyone else
They are not immune or hardened to stress, but…
They have learned how to deal with life’s inevitable difficulties and this ability sets them apart
Ability to bounce back and recover from almost anything
Does not mean that an individual will bounce back and return to exactly the same position after experiencing difficulties … but it does mean that equilibrium will be re-established
Have a “where there’s a will, there’s a way” attitude
Tendency to see problems as opportunities
Maintain positive adaptation despite experiences of significant adversity
Ability to “hang tough” when things are difficult
Capacity for seeing small windows of opportunity and making the most of them
Have deep-rooted faith in a system of meaning
Have a healthy social support network
Have the wherewithal to competently handle most different kinds of situations
Have a wide comfort zone
Able to recover from experiences in the panic zone or of a traumatic nature
Regain balance and keep going despite adversity and misfortune
Find meaning amidst confusion and tumult
Self-confident and understand their own strengths and abilities
Do not feel pressure to conform but take pleasure in being unique
Will go it alone when necessary
Confidence in their ability to persevere because they have done so before
Anticipate rather than fear change and challenges

BUILDING RESILIENCE (American Psychological Association)

1. Make connections. Good relationships with close family members, friends or others are important. Accepting help and support from those who care about you and will listen to you strengthens resilience. Some people find that being active in civic groups, faith-based organizations, or other local groups provides social support and can help with reclaiming hope. Assisting others in their time of need also can benefit the helper.

2. Avoid seeing crises as insurmountable problems. You can’t change the fact that highly stressful events happen, but you can change how you interpret and respond to these events. Try looking beyond the present to how future circumstances may be a little better. Note any subtle ways in which you might already feel somewhat better as you deal with difficult situations.

3. Accept that change is a part of living. Certain goals may no longer be attainable as a result of adverse situations. Accepting circumstances that cannot be changed can help you focus on circumstances that you can alter.

4. Move toward your goals. Develop some realistic goals. Do something regularly — even if it seems like a small accomplishment — that enables you to move toward your goals. Instead of focusing on tasks that seem unachievable, ask yourself, “What’s one thing I know I can accomplish today that helps me move in the direction I want to go?”

5. Take decisive actions. Act on adverse situations as much as you can. Take decisive actions, rather than detaching completely from problems and stresses and wishing they would just go away.

6. Look for opportunities for self-discovery. People often learn something about themselves and may find that they have grown in some respect as a result of their struggle with loss. Many people who have experienced tragedies and hardship have reported better relationships, greater sense of strength even while feeling vulnerable, increased sense of self-worth, a more developed spirituality and heightened appreciation for life.

7. Nurture a positive view of yourself. Developing confidence in your ability to solve problems and trusting your instincts helps build resilience.

8. Keep things in perspective. Even when facing very painful events, try to consider the stressful situation in a broader context and keep a long-term perspective. Avoid blowing the event out of proportion.

9. Maintain a hopeful outlook. An optimistic outlook enables you to expect that good things will happen in your life. Try visualizing what you want, rather than worrying about what you fear.

10. Take care of yourself. Pay attention to your own needs and feelings. Engage in activities that you enjoy and find relaxing. Exercise regularly. Taking care of yourself helps to keep your mind and body primed to deal with situations that require resilience.

11. Learn From Your Past
Focusing on past experiences and sources of personal strength can help you learn about what strategies for building resilience might work for you. By exploring answers to the following questions about yourself and your reactions to challenging life events, you may discover how you can respond effectively to difficult situations in your life.
Consider the following:

What kinds of events have been most stressful for me?
How have those events typically affected me?
Have I found it helpful to think of important people in my life when I am distressed?
To whom have I reached out for support in working through a traumatic or stressful experience?
What have I learned about myself and my interactions with others during difficult times?
Has it been helpful for me to assist someone else going through a similar experience?
Have I been able to overcome obstacles, and if so, how?
What has helped make me feel more hopeful about the future?

12. Stay Flexible
Resilience involves maintaining flexibility and balance in your life as you deal with stressful circumstances and traumatic events. This happens in several ways, including:

Letting yourself experience strong emotions, and also realizing when you may need to avoid experiencing them at times in order to continue functioning.
Stepping forward and taking action to deal with your problems and meet the demands of daily living, and also stepping back to rest and reenergize yourself.
Spending time with loved ones to gain support and encouragement, and also nurturing yourself. Relying on others, and also relying on yourself.

13. Continuing On Your Journey
To help summarize several of the main points, think of resilience as similar to taking a raft trip down a river.

On a river, you may encounter rapids, turns, slow water and shallows. As in life, the changes you experience affect you differently along the way.
In traveling the river, it helps to have knowledge about it and past experience in dealing with it. Your journey should be guided by a plan, a strategy that you consider likely to work well for you.
Perseverance and trust in your ability to work your way around boulders and other obstacles are important. You can gain courage and insight by successfully navigating your way through white water. Trusted companions who accompany you on the journey can be especially helpful for dealing with rapids, upstream currents and other difficult stretches of the river.
You can climb out to rest alongside the river. But to get to the end of your journey, you need to get back in the raft and continue.

MORE… from George Bonano, Ph.D., Professor of Psychology, Teacher’s College, Columbia University

“Stressful or traumatic events in and of themselves don’t have much predictive power when it comes to life outcomes.”
“Epidemiological data shows that exposure to potentially traumatic events does not predict later functioning.”
“Living through adversity, be it endemic to your environment or an acute negative event, doesn’t guarantee that you’ll suffer going forward.”
“Positive construal (how individuals perceive, comprehend, and interpret the world around them) can be taught. We can make ourselves more or less vulnerable by how we think about things.”

“The bamboo that bends is stronger than the oak that resists.”

Be sure to check out “Building Resilience (article 2 of 2)” by clicking HERE